Back Talking: Stopping Back Taking Between Children and You

Back talk is any comment used in a sarcastic, sassy, smart, disrespectful tone. If you ask your child to do something and they use sass or sarcasm you need to teach them how to stop back talking. This type of behavior always bothers adults. Usually back talking starts around the age of four and you need to teach your child how to stop back talking now or it will continue later on in life. Nobody likes to be disrespected by a child and that is why you must teach them how to stop back talking now. Luckily, this is a very easy thing to do.

Signs and Symptoms of Back Talking

It is normal for a child to back talk once in a while, but if they are constantly disrespecting you they may have a back talking problem. Check out the signs and symptoms below to see if your child has a problem with back talking.

• Your child does not stop back talking even when you ask them

• The behavior increases

• The behavior ruins the relationship between you and your child

• Your child disrespects other children or adults

• Other people complain about your child’s behavior

How to Stop Back Talking

There are many things you can do to teach your child how to stop back talking. Follow some of the tips located below to help teach your child not to disrespect you, or others, anymore.

Uncover the Reason

There is always a reason as to why your child is back talking and disrespecting you. You must identify this reason before you can start helping them. There are some popular causes of back talk below.

• Getting attention

• Copying TV, other children, or movies

• They feel unappreciated

• They want to test their limits

• They want to feel “grown up”

• They want to be in control

• They are trying to fit in with peers

• They are angry or frustrated with something

Check Yourself

Make sure you fix your own behavior before you try to fix your child’s. Do you ever use a sarcastic or sassy tone with people you talk with? You child may see this and think it is the right thing to do. Try to fix this behavior and be a role model to your child. They may change if they see you change.

Expect Respect

Make rules for your child to follow so they will not use back talk as much. Stand up to your child and make sure that they respect you. Do not let them walk all over you like a sidewalk.

Monitor Your TV

One thing you want to do when teaching your child how to stop back talking is to monitor your television. A lot of the shows now days use sarcasm because it is funny, but you should not allow your child to hear that. They do pick up on things like that, so make sure to set guidelines as to which shows your child can and cannot watch. If you catch them watching something they shouldn’t, turn off the television immediately and discuss why they cannot watch the show.

Intervene

Make sure you stop the sass when it starts. Do not wait until they are older because it will only be harder on you, so the second you hear them use a bad tone with you call them out on it. Tell your child what they did was disrespectful and you will not stand for it. Make sure you stay calm though, they may be looking for a reaction if you get angry.

Make Consequences

If your child does not stop balk talking with the tips above you want to step it up. Make sure your child knows that this behavior is not going to be tolerated anymore. Here are some examples of consequences.

1. Apology

Get an apology from them if they back talk. Let them write or say one. You could even make them do a chore to say they are sorry. Just try to get them to apologize.

2. Send Their Friend Home

If your child has a friend over and they back talk or sass you, briefly separate your child and their friend. Make them apologize and if the back talk continues, send the friend home altogether.

3. Take Things Away

If the back talk starts to get out of hand take things away from your child. Make sure they are things that your child loves and “can’t live without”. That way they see that you aren’t messing around and eventually will stop their sass.

4. Remove the Child from Activities

If you have family nights or other things like that and your child back talks you during it, send them to their room for the rest of the activity. This way they are reminded back talk will not be tolerated and they will learn if they want to do fun things, they need to talk nicely.